[cpd] steve: hat

237: Requesting Recommendations

Hey LJ,

After some time away from it, I've found myself looking into stand-up comedy.

Who are some of your favorite comedians? Please make some recommendations!

What I'm looking for: aggression/hostility, controversy, sarcasm, vulgarity, wit...

Examples of comedians I like: Lewis Black, Stephen Lynch, Doug Stanhope

And here are some icons and banners for those of you who also like Lynch and/or Stanhope.

Thanks fuckers!
[t bundy] pensive

236: Pittsburghese

I have been sifting through entries from my old journal and come across some I'd like to keep alive. So, I will likely be posting and sharing those here.

I've never really understood what Pittsburghese was, before, or how anyone can speak it and think it's correct. Now, I feel like I know all the awful words, from "Dahntahn" to "yinz" and I have acquired the ability to identify far-flung participants of the Pittsburgh diaspora. When I was in South Carolina, I figured out that one of the hotel's front desk managers was a yinzer after about five words (it could be like the show "Name That Tune" - "I can pick out the yinzer in just 3 words!").

In my family, for the most part, we have always prided ourselves on having no accent at all. However, both my parents were and still are yinzers. Fortunately, I did not pick up the habit. And I don't plan to become a yinzer anytime soon, though dumb people who move here have a way of picking it up.

But there's one word I'm scared of: "whenever". In Pittsburgh, this word is used instead of "when". I first heard it in one of my foreclosure cases, WHEN the yinzer lawyer whom we buried after he rejected our settlement said "whenever we filed our Motion for Summary Judgment". My reaction was, "What is this 'whenever' stuff? The Motion was filed on a particular date. What's he doing?!" Then he actually wrote in his brief "whenever the parties executed the contract." I was taken aback. "Do I object somehow?! What's going on here?!"

Having always used these words correctly, I never really thought about why you are supposed to say "when" instead of "whenever". But really, it's not that complicated. "When" refers to a specific date or time in the present or future, i.e. "When the Patriots won the Super Bowl, I was ecstatic," or "When I turn 35, I'm running for President!" "Whenever" refers to either 1) an indefinite date or time, i.e. "whenever my fat-fuck girlfriend gets around to losing some weight, I'll be able to look at her again" or 2) a regular recurring event "whenever the Steelers lose, I am happy."

In Pittsburgh, "whenever" is used in all circumstances. i.e. "Whenever we landed in Normandy on D-Day, June 6, 1944, them jagoff Nazis were in trouble" or "whenever yinz went dahntahn last Saturday n'at, did yinz have pop or arn city?"

This phenomenon reached its worst when one friend remarked "whenever my father died." Honey, that's unfortunate, but I think it happened on a specific date, not over and over or on an indefinite date. She had no idea, and of course she also thought that costume jewelry, big hair and hoop earrings were in style, so I would have been surprised if she had not said "whenever".

My great fear, though, is that I will start saying "whenever" instead of "when". It's going to happen and I will hate myself because there's no excuse for sinking to that level.

So in Pittsburgh, the Galapagos Island of dialects, "when" has become extinct. I hope it does not join "fewer", which has been driven to extinction by the pernicious "less". If you can count it, use the word "fewer", folks. "There's less sand in my sandbox than in the Sahara Desert but there are fewer grains of sand in my sandbox than in the Sahara Desert." I'd say it's no harder than poking the hole in the ballot next to the candidate you want but, as a dumb American, you can neither poke the right hole nor push the stylus all the way through, so maybe that's the wrong example.

It's too bad when perfectly cromulent words get eliminated from usage. The Bar journal noted that people are now saying "uninterested", when what they really mean is "disinterested". I have been guilty of that, myself, but it's a difference that really makes sense. "Uninterested" describes my attitude toward morbidly obese, ugly chicks. "Disinterested" describes my rooting interests in a fistfight between morbidly obese, ugly chicks - I'm totally unbiased. Of course, I guess "uninterested" would be true there as well.
[t bundy] pensive

232: Welcome to the party for my great departing!

Hey fuckers!

As usual, I don't have much to post about but I feel inclined to post. SO I'LL FUCKING POST!!

Stick with me...or skip it. Whatever! Werd!

Results on biopsies due back this week. All I know is the one is going to hurt like a mother- if it requires surgery.

Tomorrow (Monday) I go for my first vocal instruction in well over eight years. I'm not just going to learn and brush up though. My coach, John, asked me to arrive early and try to help with a young student of his. She's an alto and has potential to hit high notes but can't find how to transition without her voice cracking or falling flat. He stroked my ego a bit and won me over by telling me how well I can go from low to high and vice versa and asked if I'd try to explain my "technique" to her. The thing is, I have no technique. I really don't know how I do it. I can sing low with baritones and then I can belt out notes with sopranos. It just happens. All I can think that I do is "go for it". That and I usually end up using my hand, as though I'm somehow trying to physically push it out.

Today was...interesting. Somewhat expected but also unexpected. I haven't quite compiled all my thoughts other than obsessing over a severe "Blonde Moment" wherein I asked "what was the name of that show with the gong?" The answer: "The Gong Show". Bawww, SNAP, I'm fucking dumb! Anyway, possibly more on this subject (not the idiocy bit) later. We'll see!

On to a (slightly) different topic... I feel myself changing. I'm not quite sure how I feel about it or even what to make of it. I'm still a cruel, miserable bitch. Yet, I'm not as much. I find myself being more tolerant and pleasant with some people while remaining impatient and cold toward others. This probably doesn't seem like much based on the way I generally present myself to those of you I've communicated with beyond a simple comment here or there. I'm not sure how to explain it.

All right, my brain just threw up a red flag so it looks like I'm done with this entry.

A side: Thanks much to kirakaze and bloodlilie for picking up the slack in killer_culture and justified_fx! Bonus points to Kira for the Bundy icons! <3 you guys!

Final note: Huzzah for people who let me ramble about Ted Bundy and don't give me disturbed looks.


Carrying on the To-Do Lists... Wow, I got a lot accomplished! (srsface!)

Musical To-Do List:
1. Work on Theatrical Resume
2. Vocal training
3. Get head-shots
4. Prepare various sheet music with which to audition
5. Seek out Casting Calls
6. ????
7. Profit

General To-Do List:
1. Attempt to write some more
2. Clean more and more
3. Muppet?
4. ????
5. Enjoy myself!
6. Not die from pain of surgeries
7. Make LJ icons, as promised
8. Attempt to repair my knee problems
9. ???
10. LIVE!
[t bundy] pensive

231: Random Updates

"He's so clearly brain damaged." - Best line of the week and it's still making me smile.

I had five biopsies today. One was really deep and painful, on my lower back. They'll call me with the results next week. And then it's likely I will be returning for surgeries.

Hallo und Willkommen stuck_in_ma a/k/a "Muppet", whom I met through a mutual friend on Facebook. Bawww, first I brought my LJ friends to Facebook. Now I bring a Facebooker to LJ! (Not really. He's been around... WHORE!!!)

I'm getting back into musical theatre after many years of doubt and being discouraged. I had an audition with a vocal instructor yesterday (who taught me, years ago). He said my voice has changed, "matured" and "is a bit hoarse (probably from smoking) but" I have never been able to achieve such an impressive vocal range. He seemed iffy about bringing me back, when we first spoke, but after I belted into the phone, he was more enthusiastic, checking his schedule.

Musical To-Do List:
1. Work on Theatrical Resume
2. Vocal training
3. Get head-shots
4. Prepare various sheet music with which to audition
5. Seek out Casting Calls
6. ????
7. Profit

General To-Do List:
1. Attempt to write some more
2. Clean more and more
3. Muppet?
4. ????
5. Enjoy myself!
6. Not die from pain of surgeries
7. Make LJ icons, as promised
8. Attempt to repair my knee problems
9. ???
10. LIVE!


Be well, y'all!
[t bundy] pensive

230: Doctor's Predictions

So, years ago when I was a child, a genetic specialist told me I'd probably "be dead by 25". I couldn't remember WHY, for all these years and my parents would lie and say, "She never said that".

I finally got it out of them last night. The doctor's time-frame was off but health wise, so far, she's "right on the money".

Cancer runs in my family but those people all died in their 50s and given my history and other conditions, my lifespan is "shortened".

Apparently, she said that I'd develop skin cancer which would eventually spread to internal organs. As most of you know, I was diagnosed with skin cancer a few months ago. So, it looks like it's slowly coming to fruition.

My parents were furious with the doctor at the time. I was upset. Being a child and told "you're going to die by age X" kinda sticks with you. Finally, last night, when I got my parents to talk about it, they said when the dermatologist told them my biopsies came back "positive", their "hearts dropped."

I don't know what to make of it. I'll admit that the diagnosis of skin cancer alone had me depressed but now it's going to likely nag at me. "Is it spreading?!"

In a way, I regret having asked my parents, yesterday. For years, I had no recollection of "why" she thought I'd die. And any time I'd get sick, I'd wonder, "is this it?" Now it's even more real because the skin cancer is confirmed. And who knows - maybe it will spread before they can "catch it".

Oh well. No one knows when their time will be up. So, I'm just going to enjoy the shit out of my life while I have it.

Apparently I needed to "vent" that. Sorry!

As you were!
[t bundy] pensive

229: (no subject!)

Happy Sunday (and holiday weekend) Livejournal!

I have nothing to write about but I'm trying to reestablish myself, at least some, here.

I'm taking a break from writing (I think I burned myself out) and am now back to reading through my f-list (though I haven't had much to comment on, sorry!), attempting to learn more German and just catching up (and bullshitting) with old and new friends.

Delightful!

I'm sure I will be able to provide some of my "highly-acclaimed" bitchy posts eventually.

So far I had no plans for my summer (as usual) but this year it looks like I'm being booked up.

That all puts me in a good mood, making it difficult for me to "vent". However, fear not, loyal readers (if I still even have any). The fall and holidays it brings also bring misery so negative rants await!

Hm...that's it.

ETA: I'm finally back in the mood to make icons. Any requests?
[t bundy] pensive

228: Why Hallo Thar!

I've definitely been neglecting Livejournal. I've checked in a few times and been in contact with a few of my LJ-friends and have learned that I am not alone. It appears as though LJ is slowly dying or at least losing activity.

First Screenplay: Nearly finished but put on the back burner. Why?

SECOND SCREENPLAY! This one is even more promising and unlike the first, it's never been done!

Health is shit. I'm still losing weight and all kinds of junk that no one wants to read about. However, I'm attempting to keep my mind off it by stressing the fuck out of myself with writing.

I've also been neglecting my usual line-up of TV shows, commenting on your entries, etc.

I fail, I suppose. But I did post an entry stating I wouldn't be around as much.

How are you all doing? At least those of you who still use LJ and read this.

Short entry is short. I really don't have much to post about aside from what I have been posting over the last few months - writing. I'm sure you're tired of that, so I'll end here.

Stay gold, fuckers.
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[t bundy] pensive

226: Busy, busy, busy

Thanks for the v-gifts, banee_noel and burnlikepetals. <3 you guys!

Also, Happy Mothers Day to any mamas on my flist!

I'll be spending the day at a local animal shelter, looking into (and gathering information on) a dog that an actor friend of mine is interested in adopting. He wants me to take pictures of her, so I may post them here too. She's a cutie, from the photo provided online. And she has a torn ACL that needs repaired. My friend donated enough to cover the entire surgery and now wants to adopt her, as soon as she's able to be "released."

I feel like his secretary but I'm kind of looking forward to it too.

And then, next week, it's back to writing! I'd like to make a lot of progress before my upcoming surgeries, in case those end up "taking me away from it."

In addition to writing, I'm now looking into directing! I just need to educate myself a bit more. The little knowledge I have of it is either provided by my actor friends or from what I learned YEARS ago. Gots to brush up!

I'm still losing weight...still waiting on the neurologist to see me and help try to figure out why and what else is going on.

Blah, blah... Not much to say. Take it easy.

Stay gold, fuckers.